I am Happy to be a Fool

I have been fortunate to meet “all kinds” of people. Sad people, Happy people, upset rigid people, accommodating people, frustrated people, complacent people, angelic people & the list goes on…

The more I meet people, the more I have been able to understand that people are made of mind-sets & these mindsets don’t get built in one day. It takes years of hard work & repetition of patterns for each human being, who is born with a pure clear mind, to gather thousands of impressions that affect our overall responses, attitudes & behavioral patterns.

I have been fortunate to meet “all kinds” of people
with different mindsets

Sometimes, the memory connected to our response is lost, hence when asked ‘but, why is it that you don’t want to drink milk’ the answer is ‘because I don’t like it’ & we are not necessarily aware of a probable event that left behind the impression ‘I don’t like milk’.

For example: For years, I was terrified of water & every time I went close to any water body, I thought I was going to drown. After a lot of introspection I realized my fear of water was connected to a memory from my tender childhood where I went with my family for a trip to Haridwaar for the holy dip in river Ganges; This, my first dip in the river ever, left behind a strong impression that I was probably going to drown. Even though the memory faded, the fear stayed on!

It is also true that our patterns go through different phases in the process of evolution. Despite the faded memories, our mindsets go remain in different phases / zones.

Before we go on to discuss the different mind zones, please take a moment to ask yourself & answer these questions:

Q1. When sitting down to eat food, do you:

A) Like to eat only tried out choices from the menu card

B) Become uncomfortable if asked to try out something new

C) Making a choice to taste something you have not had before

D) Stick to standard age-old menu & smile & say you are happy with your lentil & rice & donot wish to try anything new.

Q2. When planning a vacation, do you:

A) Always go to a known destination

B) Give back a closed ‘no’ when asked to join a group to a new city

C) Look for new adventures you have not tried out so far

D) Go straight to the ancestral city for a vacation, return back to work, and donot even check out other holiday options available.

Q3. On Meeting people in a familiar or new environment, do you:

A) Automatically gravitate to the aunt / cousin you know you get along with

B) Feel interrupted when a new guest joins in the conversation

C) Look out for new people & make it a point to go talk to them

D) Go & stay in a corner with your grandmother, and are completely indifferent & unaware of who all came for the event.

I am comfortable being with this group

Answers mostly A’s means a person lives in his Comfort zone most of the time: 

The mind likes to sticking to patterns & is doing only what is known to fall under the ‘I am alright with the (known) result of this’ category.

Answers mostly B’s would indicate the mind being in a Conflict zone:

A breaking of patterns or a demand to do things where the outcome is not known or not experienced first hand.

Answers mostly C’s show an enterprising Challenge zone:

Breaking of patterns with the attitude ‘I don’t know what will be, but I am willing to go through it for the sake of getting an experience’.

Answers mostly d’s show a tendency to move more towards the Fools’ zone:

Where we are happy to pretend that I donot acknowledge that any change in pattern in needed at all, I donot know how else to exist & wish to stay as I am. 

•                Challenges & Fools zone have more to do with oneself.

•                Comfort & Conflict zone can be within ones mind & also with other people or external situations.

In the process of meeting many ‘people’ of many ‘kinds’ I very often get an opportunity to study the conflicts zone closely. I am expected to be the troubleshooter in volatile & explosive situations.

Whether in personal relationships or between people in a Non-Governmental voluntary organization, I have grown to realize that when problems are not getting solved & have only been growing for years & years, it is so:

… because people think that living in the conflict zone is more comfortable & brings more peace than leaving the conflict would.

Surprised!!! Don’t be!!

Even though being in a state of conflict with people or situations brings with it a lot of mental torment, I have observed more than once that people remain in a state of conflict because this brings comfort.

Conflict brings with it freedom ‘I am not going to involve this person, because we are not on good terms’

Conflict brings competitiveness ‘I want to do well, because I want to show the other person down’

Conflict brings support from unexpected quarters / people.

Conflict raises ego (thus determination) & self-esteem (or even self-belief).

Throughout the conflict we also go through the challenges zone, where we repeatedly have the choice to stand up & break patterns that have been set over a period of time;

On embracing change, we become comfortable with
the challenges zone & THIS makes us unshakeable.

Some courageous ones do break out & this leads to true Inner unshakeable Transformation. On embracing change, we become comfortable with the challenges zone & THIS makes us unshakeable.

But sometimes, when a state of conflict has remained for a long period of time without any resistance or without want for change, then the most threatening phase creeps in, where, we are indifferent to our own self, we are indifferent to our surroundings & we very comfortably tell ourselves, I don’t know what went wrong with my life and we tell ourselves…

THE VOCA PEOPLE.Photo courtesy
The Music Center at Strathmore

… I am a fool and I am happy about it

…and THIS becomes the end of growth & of the evolution of our beautiful mind.