Top 3 Most Bizarre Superstitions

Superstitions are a part of our lives. Whether we admit & realise this or not!! Superstitions do exist in every single society around the world, having their hold on the human mind & its way of thinking.

A research, conducted by The Betway Group(See Source below), revealed that over ten million people won't walk under ladders for fear that it will bring them bad luck, while a further nine million people believe that breaking a mirror will bring seven years bad fortune.

Some superstitions are more gross & visible; Others more subtle, like crossing your fingers. But to say  'Oh, I am not superstitious', might be an under-statement.

In this blogpost, I would like to share the top 3 bizarre superstitions during my travel around India:

1. Bury a packet of Milk in your Garden & it will stop raining:

3 Ways to Stay Calm in a stressful situation

My friend was telling me about a situation when one evening in office, he had a very important assignment to complete, was consistently receiving calls from home because he had guests waiting, he had to book his flight tickets for a trip the next morning  and he was having trouble with his printer.

Sometimes simple demands for multi-tasking can convert to 'pressurised situations' on the emotional & mental level!!

I have personally been through situations where my 25 guests would be arriving soon, am cooking an extensive chinese meal & I suddenly find that I am running short of soya sauce!!

When we are under the mental pressure of completing multiple 'simple-looking tasks' within a restricted time-frame, the pressure of multi-tasking hits the panic button and makes us completely incapable of handling even the commonest of situations.

Here are 3 Top things that work for me, when I am faced with a situation that demands multi-tasking under pressurised circumstances:

Conversation with a Cricket Ball

Yes, You read that right. This post is what a cricket ball would probably ‘say’ (if it could talk) in a Newspaper Interview:

(ShreeG represents Interviewer from Newspaper; CB represents Cricket Ball)

ShreeG: "Good Morning, We are conducting this interview for our National Daily Newspaper ‘ShreeG Times’ and are now talking to Mr. Ball"

CB: "Excuse ME... I am not a ball. I am THE chosen one!"

ShreeG (confused): "You are not a ball??"

CB: "Of course not: I am a member of God’s Kingdom! I was chosen to represent the warriors in this battle to save the people of your world. Thousands of your people come only to watch me & to receive my message."

ShreeG: "Well… Yes, everyone comes to watch you, but its not war."

CB: "Not War? Don’t your men put up a fight for simply holding me in their hand? It is about war & peace."

Why am I Alive?

Sitting alone, I saw a woman suffering in pain because of her disease. I sat by her bedside for days at length, holding her hand & praying to God to bless her with good health again.

Then one day, she passed away.

I am aware that death is the most inevitable aspect of our lives. But if ultimately it is death that I have to brace, then why live at all. What’s the point? One fine day, it will all be over. No people around me, no food clothing shelter problems, no finances to manage, no health problems to address, no relationships to manage, no need of taking care, no coxing, no pampering of people who make it a point to do the exact opposite of what I want.

In a way, I would say ‘WOW!!! WHAT FREEDOM!!!’.  Suddenly death sounds like a much better idea than being alive. In that case why the hell am I still alive and kicking?

I gave this a thought & these are Top 5 reasons that come to my mind about Why I am alive:

What is Good? What is Bad? (Part III : People)

Last week during a discussion in chandrapur to start an alcohol de-addiction program under the 'Volunteer for a Better India (VBI)’ campaign, a simple looking housewife came forth aggressively against alcoholism. I was surprised at the emotional reaction of this erstwhile quiet woman.

This lady later asked for a private audience and broke into tears after sharing that her life was miserable because of her alcoholic husband and father-in-law. She was extremely worried about the future of her children & by joining the VBI de-addiction drive she was hopeful that she would be able to help others even though there was little she could do for her own family.

The above incident led to me think: ‘People’ play a very important role in our lives: can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

Forget the generation gaps, the cultural differences, language & religion based barriers, leave aside the moral, political, social & ethical policing. From our limited bunch of ‘every day people’ (i.e. my milkman, housemaid, friends, family, co-workers, acquaintance’s etc) who gets labeled as a good person and who’s Bad?

It is known and very often experienced that acts, words & thoughts of my ‘everyday people’ is a cause for trigger of either pleasantness or an unpleasantness in me. Have you noticed this yet?

Like in the above-mentioned case, the presence of alcohol addicts in her own personal life, triggered emotions that made the lady's participation more active than that of others in the group.

Given that ‘People’ cause an emotional trigger:

Thumb Rule #3: 

“Every Individual who triggers a good feeling in me gets labeled as a good person; Every person who becomes a cause of a shrinking feeling in me gets labeled as a unpleasant person.”

CAUTION: God at Work

I met someone recently, who had to give up work he was extremely passionate about & had to settle down for managing a shop owned by his father. This would not have been an easy choice to make!!

People share that they are into a job they are not happy about; Their hearts desire would be to travel around the world or to paint or run their own business & they feel stuck being in a job without any appreciation.

Sometimes, we are lucky enough to get opportunities that help fulfill our hearts desire & also meet our family’s duty calls & help attain financial sustainability.

The difficulty arises when one a choice has to be made between what my heart wants and what my head commands. Invariably it is the head that wins and we land up finding ourselves in places where we donot want to be.

This reminds me of a story I have heard about a great Maratha King who faced a similar predicament.

Once the King went to his Guru & said “I am so tired of war & all these conspiracies. I want peace but this appears to be a farfetched dream. I want to bring a positive transformation in the lives of people around me, but all my time is spent in war. I am tired, want to leave all this & go to the jungles & meditate. I want to find my inner peace.”

What is Good? What is Bad? (Part II : Situations)

Last week's post started a discussion on what is good and bad relating to objects and people.

This week's post is a narration of What it is we categorise as Good or Bad in relation to situations?

Thumb Rule #2: ‘Everything is good or bad depending on the situations I am faced with now in comparison to situations faced in the past.’

Here is a short story to explain the 2nd Thumb Rule mentioned above:

Once a King traveled in a ship with a minister, few soldiers & civilians. In the middle of the ocean the ship was rocked by a storm. One of the soldiers started crying vehemently. He did not know how to swim & was very scared that he would drown.

The worried King called on his minister & said ‘It is the duty of every soldier to protect civilians. If a soldier cries in fear, this will spread panic amongst others on board. Do something to quieten this soldier”.

The minister called on 2 other soldiers & asked them to throw the crying soldier into the ocean. On being thrown into the splashing waves, the soldier started screaming even more. 

After a couple of minutes the minister asked his soldiers to bring up the crying soldier on the ship again.

On coming back into the safety of the boat, the crying soldier became absolutely quiet & sat in a corner like a mouse.

The King watched in amazement at the happenings & the resultant quiet. He called the minister & asked ‘Why is the soldier so quiet now?” The minister replied ‘Your Lordship, sitting on the safe deck of our ship, he is quiet because he knows, we can change his situation for the worst”.

This is how we respond to our current situations: Our responses depend on the situations faced with in the immediate past.

When we complain, God throws us into an ocean of deeper problems and then we complain more. God then brings us back to our original challenging situation & we suddenly become grateful for where we stand, because now we know ‘It can become much worse than this’!

Message for the week:

When the mind is comparing current situations to what was or what could have been, then there is compliant and non-acceptance for the way situations are presently.

When we bring ourselves to be grateful for all things we have, this takes our attention towards positivity, helps make constructive decisions and improves the quality of our lives. There is nothing wrong in wanting to improve a current situation; However, acceptance for the current situation(whether it is good or bad) ensures that we donot remain stuck in the same place and makes it easier for us to move on. 

If you are in an (supposedly) bad situation, know it can and will change.
If you are in a good situation, know it can get even better. Know you deserve the best.

This week:
Every night before going to sleep: Make a list of 5 things you are grateful for, count all the positive things you have now. 

Watch out this space next week for Thumb Rule #3 : What is Good? What is Bad?

What is Good? What is Bad?

What is it that we categorize as Good or as Bad? What is it that helps decide?

Truth is undoubtedly multi-dimensional. What is right for one can possibly be wrong for another?

Last week, when I taught a program, I was assisted by 23 teachers & volunteers. Under exactly the same situation, in the same program, after receiving the same set of instructions: Each individuals' response was different. Each person's participation & level of acceptance for a given challenge varied.

Is it possible to have a permanent theorem that can declare a universal law about objects eg: whether chocolates are good or bad? or about Who is a Good or Bad person? Or What is a right or wrong situation?

Past one week’s events led me to think on these above mentioned questions & and my probable conclusion comes in the form of few thumb rules:

Thumb Rule #1: ‘Everything is good or bad depending on the refinement of my own mind’

Here are few examples about this first point mentioned above:

What is a Good or Bad object:

• If I am a child, my love for chocolates leads me to believe that sweets are good for me.
• If I am diabetic, I tell myself chocolates and sweets are bad for me. 
• If I am a normal healthy human being, the choice for chocolates depends on my taste buds. I can also probably be indifferent towards sweets.

Let us take a look at Good and Bad situations:

Is this a good situation or a bad one? 

• If my mind is weak, a challenging situation will make me cry & make me want to run away.
• If I have a strong mind, I will see a challenging situation as an opportunity to upgrade my skills.
• If I am an indifferent person, a challenging situation is not my business till the fire actually reaches my own doorstep and then thanks to my non-action, the fire might actually burn down my house.

Good and Bad people:

Is he an Angel or a Devil?

• If I am suffering from a inferiority complex, the presence of a confident person would make me feel uncomfortable, insulted about my incapabilities & pulled down.
• If I am a good learner, presence of a confident person is a good opportunity to gain knowledge.
• If I am proud of my capabilities, the confident person might appear to be rude & disrespectful.

This Week:

Identify one object or situation or person that we have categorized as either good or bad! Know that it is our own state of mind that created this category. 

Every situation we see as bad today, would change depending on second Thumb Rule.

Watch out this space for Thumb Rule #2 next Thursday…

I am Happy to be a Fool

I have been fortunate to meet “all kinds” of people. Sad people, Happy people, upset rigid people, accommodating people, frustrated people, complacent people, angelic people & the list goes on…

The more I meet people, the more I have been able to understand that people are made of mind-sets & these mindsets don’t get built in one day. It takes years of hard work & repetition of patterns for each human being, who is born with a pure clear mind, to gather thousands of impressions that affect our overall responses, attitudes & behavioral patterns.

I have been fortunate to meet “all kinds” of people
with different mindsets

Sometimes, the memory connected to our response is lost, hence when asked ‘but, why is it that you don’t want to drink milk’ the answer is ‘because I don’t like it’ & we are not necessarily aware of a probable event that left behind the impression ‘I don’t like milk’.

For example: For years, I was terrified of water & every time I went close to any water body, I thought I was going to drown. After a lot of introspection I realized my fear of water was connected to a memory from my tender childhood where I went with my family for a trip to Haridwaar for the holy dip in river Ganges; This, my first dip in the river ever, left behind a strong impression that I was probably going to drown. Even though the memory faded, the fear stayed on!

It is also true that our patterns go through different phases in the process of evolution. Despite the faded memories, our mindsets go remain in different phases / zones.

Before we go on to discuss the different mind zones, please take a moment to ask yourself & answer these questions:

Q1. When sitting down to eat food, do you:

A) Like to eat only tried out choices from the menu card

B) Become uncomfortable if asked to try out something new

C) Making a choice to taste something you have not had before

D) Stick to standard age-old menu & smile & say you are happy with your lentil & rice & donot wish to try anything new.

Q2. When planning a vacation, do you:

A) Always go to a known destination

B) Give back a closed ‘no’ when asked to join a group to a new city

C) Look for new adventures you have not tried out so far

D) Go straight to the ancestral city for a vacation, return back to work, and donot even check out other holiday options available.

Q3. On Meeting people in a familiar or new environment, do you:

A) Automatically gravitate to the aunt / cousin you know you get along with

B) Feel interrupted when a new guest joins in the conversation

C) Look out for new people & make it a point to go talk to them

D) Go & stay in a corner with your grandmother, and are completely indifferent & unaware of who all came for the event.

I am comfortable being with this group

Answers mostly A’s means a person lives in his Comfort zone most of the time: 

The mind likes to sticking to patterns & is doing only what is known to fall under the ‘I am alright with the (known) result of this’ category.

Answers mostly B’s would indicate the mind being in a Conflict zone:

A breaking of patterns or a demand to do things where the outcome is not known or not experienced first hand.

Answers mostly C’s show an enterprising Challenge zone:

Breaking of patterns with the attitude ‘I don’t know what will be, but I am willing to go through it for the sake of getting an experience’.

Answers mostly d’s show a tendency to move more towards the Fools’ zone:

Where we are happy to pretend that I donot acknowledge that any change in pattern in needed at all, I donot know how else to exist & wish to stay as I am. 

•                Challenges & Fools zone have more to do with oneself.

•                Comfort & Conflict zone can be within ones mind & also with other people or external situations.

In the process of meeting many ‘people’ of many ‘kinds’ I very often get an opportunity to study the conflicts zone closely. I am expected to be the troubleshooter in volatile & explosive situations.

Whether in personal relationships or between people in a Non-Governmental voluntary organization, I have grown to realize that when problems are not getting solved & have only been growing for years & years, it is so:

… because people think that living in the conflict zone is more comfortable & brings more peace than leaving the conflict would.

Surprised!!! Don’t be!!

Even though being in a state of conflict with people or situations brings with it a lot of mental torment, I have observed more than once that people remain in a state of conflict because this brings comfort.

Conflict brings with it freedom ‘I am not going to involve this person, because we are not on good terms’

Conflict brings competitiveness ‘I want to do well, because I want to show the other person down’

Conflict brings support from unexpected quarters / people.

Conflict raises ego (thus determination) & self-esteem (or even self-belief).

Throughout the conflict we also go through the challenges zone, where we repeatedly have the choice to stand up & break patterns that have been set over a period of time;

On embracing change, we become comfortable with
the challenges zone & THIS makes us unshakeable.

Some courageous ones do break out & this leads to true Inner unshakeable Transformation. On embracing change, we become comfortable with the challenges zone & THIS makes us unshakeable.

But sometimes, when a state of conflict has remained for a long period of time without any resistance or without want for change, then the most threatening phase creeps in, where, we are indifferent to our own self, we are indifferent to our surroundings & we very comfortably tell ourselves, I don’t know what went wrong with my life and we tell ourselves…

THE VOCA PEOPLE.Photo courtesy
The Music Center at Strathmore

… I am a fool and I am happy about it

…and THIS becomes the end of growth & of the evolution of our beautiful mind.

How to get over the loss of losing someone close?

I met a lady in wardha city 2 days back. She had lost her young 15 yr old son in a road accident. He was waiting outside the house & was hit by a speeding motorcycle bringing instant death.

Now, 8 months after her son’s death, the lady was crying uncontrollably when she met me. The topmost questions on her mind were, ‘Why me? Why did this happen to my son? I am not able to forget him, what do I do?”

This reminded me of the time 19 months back when within one month, I lost both my mother & my father to cancer. Even though they had been severely ill for the last few months of their life, nothing could have prepared me for the inevitable moment.

After their death, I went & stayed in the Art of Living ashram in bangalore. Not wanting to teach, not wanting to meet anyone, I would stay holed up in my room without seeing a single soul. Even though I have been on the spiritual path for so many years, after my parents death, meditations became a herculean task for me. Every time I closed my eyes, I felt the soft touch of my mom's hand in mine & this forced me to immediately open my eyes.

My everyday practice of 'Sudarshan Kriya' (breathing technique) & the positivity of my dear friends helped tremendously. 

Today, I am back to normal life. Thought I would share the elements that helped me get over the loss of losing those who are dear to us:

1.Give yourself space & time. Allow yourself to cry:

Healing takes time. After spending many years with someone, the person’s loss naturally brings a vacuum. I would allow myself to cry for hours thinking my life would never be the same again. 
Today I know(for sure) that time is the best healer.

2. Keep busy & Allow yourself to smile:

When we become busy with work, we have less free time on hand to ponder on what happened. Keeping busy also brings with it many opportunities to once again smile at life’s beautiful gifts.

3. There are others far worse off than me:

There is so much sadness in this world. So much suffering, just wake up & see. Getting out of our own small world & looking at people around brought me into a space of gratitude.

4. I thank God for the people I still have in my life:

The lady in wardha told me she had lost the desire to live & was very often tempted to commit suicide. I made her aware that she was not being fair to her daughter & husband by shutting herself from the outside world. Her son was gone, but she still had her own life & her family to take care of.

5. Get involved in selfless service:

Every time I miss my mom, I buy or cook(if possible) food(mom's favourite dish) & go feed a poor person. 
Going out & doing something for someone without asking for anything in return, brought a space of contentment & satisfaction that nothing else can compare with. 

6. Know the eventuality: there is nothing you could have done:

Loss brings with it many thoughts of things I could have or should have done. Few events in life are pre-determined, death is one of them. 
No matter how much we try, we need to accept that there is nothing 'more' we could have done to change the situation from being the way it is now.

7. Cultivate positive friendships:

The kind of company you keep at times of emotional trauma makes a world of difference to how soon you will get over the loss.

Reading Sri Sri Ravi Shankarji’s knowledge, listening to Ashtavakra Gita & communication with my friend helped me heal a lot faster.

8. Make the person’s memories immortal: 

Today, when I get complimented on my values or my caring nature, I mentally thank my mother for it. Whenever I get an opportunity I quote my father as an example for self-less service towards his Guru.

We can make the people we have lost immortal by carrying forward their goodness & their contribution to this world.

A dear friend lost her beloved husband & was unable to get over the loss. Her husband was an amazing photographer. She later hosted exhibitions of her husbands work & found solace in the hundreds of compliments her husband’s work got!

THIS is exactly what a friend said ‘Writing a blog is the best thing to do. Even after our death, our thoughts will remain immortal thanks to technology’

Message for the Week:

Value those you have, while you still have them. 

Make up with those who mean a lot, while you still have an opportunity.

Life is short & unpredictable. If you have been putting off that one phone call, 'now' is the best moment to dial the number!